Memories of another life
by katiecullen101
Summary: Bella asks Edward a question. Was she ready for the answer? Did she expect him to be so honest? Set during Twilight. FLUFF . Oneshot. Please R & R. Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Family
1. Chapter 1

**Memories of another life**

**Bella asks Edward a question. Was she ready for the answer? Did she expect him to be so honest? Set during Twilight. FLUFF . Oneshot. Please R & R. **

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer I would not be here..I would be on Isle Esme with Carlisle Cullen.**

**Song: Kate Voegele - It's only life (If you can't listen to this, lyrics are chapter 2)**

Bella POV

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon in Edwards room. We were sitting, almost laying, curled up on his couch, his cold marble like arms around me. He was reading Pride and Prejudice to me. It was pure bliss.

The cd stopped. Edward got up, walked across the room and picked another cd from the shelf.

"Edward.." he looked up from the cd player to stare at the wall. I continued, "can I ask you something?" I enquired

"Of course" I could see his mouth curve upwards in a smile. He placed the cd into the player. "You can ask me anything you wish". I hesitated. I didn't want to upset him. But I'd wanted to ask this for a while now and the right moment never came. Now was as good as any other time.

"How much of your human life can you remember? You said the memories fade."

No, Edward wasn't expecting that. When he didn't immediately answer, I broke the silence.

"I mean, do you remember your childhood..do you remember your parents?"

Edward turned to look at me. He looked sad, downcast. This was clearly hard for him to talk about. Oh why did I ask him. 'It's only life' by Kate Voegele started playing in the background.

"I've written memories down in my journals, when I was first changed, but I have no memory of my childhood anymore . It's just words on a page. I remember some of the last couple of years. I remember my 16th birthday." his eyes lit up. His mouth curved showing the beginnings of a smile.

"They bought me a piano. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. They had obviously been saving all year and spent a lot of money on me, their only child. It was a year before my father got sick, that was just after my 17th." His eyes glazed over as he talked. He wasn't here in this room anymore, he was back in Chicago in 1918.

"Some days I can recall clearly what the piano looked like. It was white and had marble keys. It played like a dream. And our house was beautiful. Everything was wood in those days. And we had a white picket fence." He laughed.

"Yea. Same as everyone elses, but this one it was mine. This was _home_. " He hesitated and suddenly inhaled sharply.

"But images of my parents are hazy.."

My heart broke into a million pieces in that instant. I wanted to cry for him. Imagine not being able to remember your own parents. Not what they looked like or the sound of their voices. It would be bad enough your family all dying while you lived on but..it was just too much to comprehend. Would I forget Charlie?

I wasn't sure what to say. I mean, what could I say? I understand? I couldn't .

Edward broke the silence.

"My human life was good one, a happy one, compared to the others. Bad things happened to Rosalie, to Alice, to Esme.." he trailed off , "Jasper had to fight, to kill people, just to survive every day in a war" he paused again.

" We may all be similar in ages when we were changed but they were adults. They had been through so much. At 17, I was still very much a child." He said thoughtfully. He stopped talking so I interrupted this time.

"You seem older to me, I mean, mature ."

"I've experienced a lot since, Bella." He stated almost too harshly.

It cut through me like a knife. His statement just hung there. I had no reply to that. There were things I just wasn't ready to know yet. I really regretted asking him anything. I wish I hadn't spoken at all.

I hadn't expected Edward to say anything more after that. I had thought the conversation was over. But he was clearly still in an honest mood.

"Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be so grown up, so responsible. I wish I could be a child again. I wish that Carlisle and Esme were really my parents. We're all close, but like friends. I mean, they look out for us, protect us. We all look out for each other. I wonder what it would be like if Jasper didn't have his abilities or if he didn't use them. If I was upset, down. If for once he didn't send me waves of happiness. If I could just experience it, the grief, the sadness. I don't want to make him sad. Whatever I feel it affects him." He paused.

"Thanks Jazz."

Oh, Jasper just _talked_ to him. I still wasn't used to that. Everyone in this house can hear this conversation. Did Edward mean to be this honest? No, but I had asked and he couldn't say no. He did say he would answer _any_ question I asked.

Edward continued.

"It would be nice for Esme, or even Carlisle, to comfort me. To put their arms around me." He laughed. I guessed one of them just commented on that.

Edward shook his head.

"How did you do that to me Bella. I've never told anyone what I've just told you".

"You mean what you just told every one in the house." I laughed.

"Yea" he broke into a big grin smile.

"It's hard to have secrets, I'm very glad that no one can read _my_ mind" he chuckled, "that's probably the closest they'll ever get."

He looked up towards the door.

"Come in." He chuckled.

Carlisle and Esme walked at human speed over to Edward, still standing next to his cd player and enveloped him in their arms.

Edward returned the embrace wrapping his arms around his parents. He closed his eyes in contentment. I sat on Edwards couch just watching. When was the last time _my_ mum hugged me like that? Or Charlie? Had they ever? Edward and I were more alike than either of us realised.

"Could I join in?"

They all turned to look at me.

"Of course Bella dear, you're one of the family now" Carlisle chimed.

Their arms outstretched, I got up from the couch and joined my new family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lyrics to It's Only Life** :

Tears are forming in your eyes,

a storm is warning in the skies,

the end of the world it seems,

you bend down and you fall on your knees,

well get back on your feet ,yeah,

don't look away, don't run away,

baby it's only life,

don't lose your faith,don't run away,

it's only life,

it's only were always playing hard,

never could let down your guard,

you can't win, if you never give in,

to that voice within, saying pick up your chin,

baby let go of it , yeah,

don't look away, don't run away ,

baby, it's only life,

don 't lose your faith, don't run away,

baby it's only life.(repeat)

take your hesitance, and your self defense,

leave them behind, it's only life,

don't be so afraid of facing every day,

just take your time, it's only life,

i'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone,

just hold on tight,it's only life,

oh..don't look away, don't run away,

baby it's only life,

don't lose your faith, don't run away,

baby, it's only life (repeat),

it's only life, it's only life,

don't look away...


End file.
